Of Failed Story Attempts...

Suffice to say that I thought my two attempts at a story were sufficiently rubbish for me to abandon the idea with vigour. 

I shall resume my slovenly (albeit unhelpful) commentary on various useless things I (read : my mind) encounters every now and then.

... and I've struck upon hip-hop and rap.

Or to be more accurate, the culture that goes along with it.

I mean, to be annoyingly precise, the baggy pants, and the HUGE tee shirts, and the magnificently large and wasteful necklaces, and the extravagantly stupid 'grills' (grillz, in lingo, I'm told). 

The clothing bit is fine by me. I don't particularly care, because it follows my own personal belief. The baggier, the more comfortable. Hence, the better. What I don't get is why they have to stoop and shuffle like they're deeply afflicted by rheumatism. Boggles the mind. They're going to walk the same way in another 60 odd years... why do it now? 

Oh, probably practice, now that I think of it. I'm sure there's a Rheumatoid Olympics, which they want to enter, and they want to start practising now. 

So that's explained.

Next on the agenda - the chains, and the 'bling-bling, yo'. 

My first reaction is 'Wha-?'

Essentially what our slightly retartded and rheumatoid friends are doing is making it acceptable for men to wear jewellery. 

They've got necklaces the size of my car hanging around their necks... which explains the stoops.

But let us not linger on their modes of locomotion, I'm sure people are sick of it by now.

They wear braces, apparently. Which no normal person wants to do, even if its out of compulsion, but these people hop to it like... bunnies to chocolate? The direct comparison eludes me.  Point is, they do it, with vim and vigour befitting the most illustrious soldier in battle. 

And these aren't just braces. They're braces made of diamond. 

So they're loaded with brains too, then.

To calrify a point even further, they're wearing braces, made of diamonds.

Remind my again how that's smart...?

You've got the most expensive stone on the planet, nailed to your teeth. 

Doesn't exactly speak of abounding intelligence.

To conclude, here's my own cover of a famous rap song.

Yo, 

Yoyo.

Yo..... YO!

(Swear, in appropriate amounts. Depending on fame of singer, increase number of swears)

Ma' homie.

'sup nigga?

Nigga, nigga nigga.

Nigganigganigganigganigganigga YO!

Yoyoyoyoyo nigga.

Yea'.