Tuesday, September 23, 2008

An Idiot.

Okay, don't get me wrong, I'm sad, and I feel for the victims, and other politically correct emotions, but I'm also laughing my guts out.

"But about what, O great Chutzpah?" I hear you ask.

Let me tell you.

There was recently a shooting in a college in Finland. Guy in ski mask, with a large bag, strolls into this college, and into a classroom filled with students taking tests, and casually opens fire at about 11 AM. He then proceeds to try and kill himself, and fails.

There are many, many things I find highly amusing about this story. Firstly, who lets a guy walk in to a classroom, wearing a ski mask, in the middle of summer? That isn't very smart. Obviously these people haven't watched too many hollywood massacre/shoot-'em-up stories. 

Second on the list.

Exactly how dumb do you have to be, to be able to kill nine students (atleast, according to the news report), and then fail to kill yourself? Really, how hard could it be, to put the gun to your head, and pull the trigger? This guy apparently has the brains of a retarded fruit-fly. 

And lastly, 

Why in the world would this guy bother to wear a ski mask, if he was going to shoot himself in the end anyway? If you're planning on escaping, wonderful, get that ski mask, wear that ski mask, shoot those people in that ski mask, and run like hell (in that ski mask). 
But he was going to shoot himself in the face anyway.

Which he failed to do.

The state of the criminals in this world just depresses me.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

A Rant Pt.2

The (not so) eagerly awaited Rant Part Two.

This has nothing to do with Rant One. I just had two rants, so I thought I'd sequence them. 

Right. 

Onto business. (Or is it into?)

Our country is run by idiots. Massive, mind numbing morons. Who have fluff for brains. I wouldn't give them enough credit to slice bread without killing themselves, and they're running our country. 
This is ridiculous. 

And I'm not only talking about India. Look at our dear friends, the United States Of America. They've got dog poo for a president. Pity. And they call themselves the most powerful country on the planet. Pah. 

But as much of an idiot as Ol' George may be, things look up for America, thanks to Obama. But there's no way I'm going into that here. Its been gone into far too often by far too many people. 

No, back to India. Firstly, we've got a waif for a president. And she also happens to have the personality of a Goldfish. Yeah, she's our first woman president. Hooray. Joy. Let's all sing praises to her, because she overcame the male chauvinism. 

No.

What's the point of having a president, when she doesn't do anything? She doesn't look like she's capable of performing a task more complicated than clipping her own nails. And she's our president. 

Things are looking up for India to become a superpower, then.

But this really takes the cake. I'm not sure if this guy is part of our government, or someone else's. Wait, he was speaking good english. Probably someone else's. But this is what got me really, really, really angry. 

This arrogant son of a whatnot has the gall to say that the creationist theory of the Universe should be taught in schools, along with the Darwin theory of evolution. And he's a minister for something. A minister. He's supposed to have some brains, isn't he?

He goes on to justify his statement by saying that just because there isn't scientific proof for the creationist theory, doesn't mean it shouldn't be included in science textbooks. 

Yeah, because all science textbooks deal with religion, and with other scientifically un-proven 'facts'. 

Religion in schools is another thing all together, to be dealt with later. 

This guy should be lined up and shot. Or strapped to a chair, and thrown off of a cliff. 

Its almost as if he's running on the principle of 'The louder I talk, the more right I am'. There's a reason the creationist theory isn't in textbooks. And that's because its not proven. Its not even a scientific theory.

There's good enough evidence for the Big Bang theory, for it to warrant a place in textbooks. Its a well accepted theory too. And this monkey comes along and tries to shove the creationist theory in there along with it.

But if you're going to have the creationist theory, you might as well have the Hindu, the Muslim, the Buddhist, the Jain, the Zoarastrian and the Confusian theories along with it, right?

Or what about the theory that the world is supported on the back of a gigantic theory?
That should be number one, since its probably the oldest theory.

After all, just because there isn't scientific evidence for the theory, doesn't mean it shouldn't be in the textbooks...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

A Rant Pt.1

This is part one of two.

I say of two, because, obviously, there is another one coming. And these are the good rants. The one with all the anger in them. Hopefully, it will make good reading.

So here we go.
Rant One.

Law. And consequently, order. To be precise, Law And Order.

I'm completely in favour of it. Totally. If there weren't any law, there wouldn't be any order. If there were no order, there'd be chaos. And if there were chaos, we'd all be wearing make up and going 'Do you know how I got these scars...?'. Not particularly sane, I'd say.

But more than a problem with law, is the application. Now, laws are often phrased well, so as to leave no loophole, but then there are these ones with tremendous gaping craters in them. I could drive a tank through those loopholes, and not touch the sides.

This, again, isn't my real problem. Loopholes are loopholes. Let them be... they'd make fun rollercoasters.

People should be consistent when they apply a punishment, or apply a law, and hence derive a punishment.

To take a very trivial example... the FIA. They just randomly seem to dole out punishments, often disproportionate to the degree of the breaking of the rule. And there seems to be a certain element of favouritism. But this is a topic of endless debate. All discussion on this ends here.

More seriously, the Hiroshima bombings. About half a million people were killed on that day, and the week that followed, and millions more were affected by the radioation, and crippled for life. Not to mention their kids, and grand kids, who'd have had to go through life with half a brain.

And the Americans did this to 'end the war' and 'end the evil' and other very noble phrases. But it still killed a couple of million people, and is killing a couple of million people. I'd estimate about 7 million people, dead, dying and injured.
And nothing was done to them.

Nothing at all.

Nada.

Zilch.

But Hitler killed 10 million jews, and he was hated by the whole world. The whole world declared war on him, because he started to murder people outside his own borders. And in pretty large numbers as well, he was murdering them. Genocide, I think its called.
But murder he did... and he got stepped on for that. Sure, its twice the number of people affected by the Hiroshima/Nagasaki bombs.

But the bombs worked their magic in a couple of minutes, and that's had effect till today. Hitler did everything manually. Didn't have machines do it for him... if anything, the Americans were lazy.

Okay, seriously. I'm sure something should have happened to them (the Americans). Shouldn't they atleast be fined?
But if they are fined... who would they be fined by? The UN?
What makes the UN think they've got a right to fine us?

But then, we come to the crux of all government.
But that's immaterial here.

My point is, something should have been done to the Americans. They killed half the people the Nazi's did, except more subtly. They've got more class.

The disporportionality, and the rationalising of the decision, by saying it 'was to end the war' just infuriates me. Its like me culling a million people, because they had AIDS, or something.

It makes perfect sense. Stop the madness, destroy the source, or just hurt the source so hard, that it sooner or later stops working. It makes logical sense. But then we aren't logical, are we? We're moralistic, and emotional, and other things that detract from our lovely logical sides.

And this is why we cannot make sane decisions, ever. And this is why we should never be allowed to. But sadly, we've decided someone else must rule our lives, but they're human as well. Just more popular.

So this all makes no sense to me.

Help.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Aah-Toe!


... a common enough cry on the streets of Madras. And Delhi. And Bombay. And Bangalore. Heck, in pretty much any city in India.

But what really are these strange three wheeled creatures that roam our city at night? (And by day, and by the afternoon, and dawn, and dusk...)

Three wheels, a body made of the most rickety and unstable substance known to man, and one headlight do not a vehicle make. But apparently they do.

Death traps is what they are. From the wheels that look like they've been taken from a cycle, to the frame, made from plastic straws. Not to mention the demon drivers from hell. They seem to have been blessed with the brains of a groundhog. And the reflexes of a pod racer, thankfully.

And there's this whole culture associated with these guys. The spitting, the screaming, the murder, the boozing, the late night racing... they're like a clan all by themselves. Except they hate one another. Which doesn't make for very friendly boozing, spitting, screaming, murder or late night racing. Not to mention the bargaining. The seemingly sudden rise in inflation when he quotes his price would leave you staggering. And when questioned, he'd give his usual plethora of answers.

"The fuel costs a lot"
"Yes, I agree it does, but you're taking me down the street. My Rolex seems little high a price to pay for that, don't you think?"

"We have to take a circuitous route back"
"But when I came, I came on this incredibly short route, and didn't have to mortgage my house"
"But on the way back, its longer than on the way here. That's how the roads are"

Defy logic they do.

Not to mention the flagrant disregard of rules, which apparently makes you a good auto driver, because I can't think of any other reason that they'd do this. Its lunacy. Its like getting into a roller coaster, except without the seatbelt, and without the safety of a track, and without the knowledge that you're going to end up safe and sound, where you started from.

Or probably Auto drivers have to take a special license, or do special challenges. 'Infuriate as many people on the road as possible in one minute' sort of challenges. And only those who pass get to drive on the streets. There seems to be no other explanation.

Boggles the mind, it does.