Creationism

I know that's a word. And I also know that I've used it out of context.

What this post is about... (now that's cheesy) is the lack of imagination. I know I've talked/typed about this before, but that was solely in India, and the whole Bolly-Holly-Tolly-Molly issue.

This is completely different. This is a combination and greed, resulting in a massive lack of anything original.

To take an example from TV. There's this show called 'Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?' airing in America. This is a fantastic idea. Absolutely wonderful, for a game show. Apparently it was Howard Stern's idea, which then aired on NBC or FOX or one of those networks. And I am in absolute awe of the idea. Of pitting a 'qualified' adult, against a 'mere' fifth grader. This is the stuff success is made of.

But then other countries, and other people get wind of this idea. And they're greedy. They are really greedy. They smell success. And they want a slice of it.

They take the idea from these guys, and exactly how they do it, I'm not sure. I don't know if they acquire the rights, or if they just steal the idea. But they do manage to steal the idea, and import it into their country. Now's the fun part. They change the name of the series. And they keep the set exactly the same. There are six kids in "Are You Smarter..." and one of them is fat, and three are girls, and one has curly hair, and one likes orange juice, the other likes to eat worms... that sort of thing. And the panel for the new show? Six kids, three girls, one fat kid, one who likes orange juice, one with curly hair, one who likes to eat worms, and so on.

In the original, the panelists walk in, greet the kids, and then take their place. In the ripoff? The panelists stride in, enthusiastically greet the kids, and then take their place. Hence the difference.

Another example I can readily cite, is American Idol. Pop Idol is a fantastic idea, just like all the other 'hits'. Have a round of auditions, to get people on the show, and these people should atleast be half talented. Then get them to go a number of rounds, lasting a number of weeks. At the end of these number of weeks, with a participant eliminated each round, by popular vote, the winner will be chosen, and will be awarded something really big musically.

That's a really original idea, something on the lines of 'Rockstar : INXS'. Then people from America wanted to earn money, so they wanted people to watch TV, so they wanted this show, because it seemed to be hugely popular.

So they got it. And it was a huge hit. But it had exactly the same format as Pop Idol. They even stole a judge of there. And so people started to watch American Idol. And so did the rest of the world. And they loved it. American Idol had set a standard. It had beat Pop Idol at its own game, and it was now the standard. But people from other countries began to get greedy. And they wanted money. So they wanted people to watch TV. And they copied this design.

Down to the last detail. The intro song is the same, they've got three judges, exactly the same, completely forgetting that Pop Idol had four judges, and that was the original. And one judge is mean, a la Simon Cowell. And one judge is a sissy, and one judge is more or less non-controversial.

But people seem to love it, and seem to claim each countries version as their own. Me? I think Indian Idol is rubbish, and is completely run by politics. I don't watch it, because they don't sing songs I like, but last season, a guy who sung like a monkey on coke won, because he came from a place where the TV ratings were low, and they wanted to boost TV ratings.

If you're going to make a ripoff, make it well.

But here's an example of something I think is absolutely fantastic, and not about to be stolen any time soon :
http://www.ultimateshowdown.org/

Just Call Me Sir Lancelot The Stupid

Chivalrousness. Or whatever the word is. That's what this post is about.
Come to think of it... what is the word for chivalrousness? Please help.

Anyway. These last couple of weeks, when I've been taking the bus really often, I thought to myself "I'm not going to be one of those selfish people on the bus. I'm going to be polite, and chivalrous, and really kind, and everyone will love me, and that will be awesome". So I tried. And I'm still doing it. I'm giving my seat to older people, to infirm people. (I love the way 'infirm' sounds like they'd just collapse in the middle of the bus, if it hit a bump or something).

And so I gave my seat to older, and infirmer (than me) people. And there was this awesome time, when I gaev my seat to this guy, who looked about 40, maybe 50. It wasn't as if he couldn't stand for the journey. But I decided I couldn't compromise my principles. So I got up, and offered him my seat. He thanked me, and I smiled, and was quite civil. A couple of ten minutes later, he looked as if he was ready to get out of the seat. And by this time, the bus was quite full, full of people standing, that is. And I could just sense the stampede for the seat, and I didn't want to be in it, so I moved a bit away, to let the nearest cow/cattle run to the seat. And when this guy got off, he stopped the other people from getting into the seat, at risk of his life, and let me sit in it.

That's really, really awesome. That left me feeling great. But then, every other time, the guy/girl, man/lady who took my seat, didn't smile, they just took it. Like it was a matter of protocol. And they didn't thank me, they didn't even acknowledge that I gave them my seat. That I gave up my comfort for theirs.

This was when I realised that I get the bad deal. Every single time. I'm sure chivalrality (?) is a wonderful concept, and a romantic concept... but its stupid. It's innately stupid. Human beings are compassionate, sure. But they aren't stupid. Being compassionate, and being so compassionate, to the point of stupidity. Two completely different things, them.

Yeah, I feel bad for the old lady standing up, which is why I offer her my seat. But that's stupid, isn't it? Compromising your comfort, so some stranger can be happy? Isn't that like obliging someone else, for their pleasure? People wouldn't do it in other situations...

"Hi, I'm a stranger. Could you stab yourself for me please? It would make me happy!"
'Sure thing, stranger"
*stab*
"Ow."
*keels over. Dead*
"haha! That was fun. Do it again!"

No... people wouldn't do this otherwise. Its just a social thing.

So far, this post has had no relevance to the title. Here's where it gets slightly relevant to the title.

I believe Sir Lancelot, or Camelot, or Mixalot invented chivalrality (this is really hard for me to pronounce. Even in my head).
And that person, was an idiot. Why would they do that?

"Here, m'lady. Please use me to step on, so you don't get your feet wet on this puddle"

WHAT?!? Why don't you just ask her to walk around the puddle? Isn't that smarter? Doesn't it make more sense than using your body as a mat?
In my opinion, I think women were as strong as men, to begin with. Then people dissuaded them from walking around puddles. Now they're all fragile, and demanding women's rights.

But along with women's rights, they still want people to be chivalrous to them. Which is exactly the opposite of women's rights.

Just make up your minds. Do you want to be pampered, or do you want to be made to work, and earn, and the rest of the shabang? I know what my choice would be. I'd be very, very content just to have someone else do my work for me.

But no. They have to work, and they want people to be chivalrous to them.

Holy cow, that's just... dithering!

But for the record... I'm still going to be chivalrous, and well mannered, and all that, because it makes people think "Oh, this guy is awesome". And that statement goes against (almost) every word in this post.

But that's life. Live with it.

The Monetary Value Of Cows

So I was thinking (aren't I always?) about the economy. What with inflation, and oil prices, and no petrol/diesel.

Its almost as if humans are living in a world within a world. We've been living in a dream world for the last two millennia. We didn't like living in trees. So we didn't. We built houses, and huts. Then we started to live together, rather than in bits of nomadic tribes. And then we invented words like 'civilized' to pretend like we know what we're doing.

And we build things, like buckets, and wheels, and carts, and bottles, and juice. But we have no way of measuring how much better one human is better than another human, right? So we started to assign values to things, using the rough rule of 'the shinier, the better'. So we got polish, and iron, and other sparkling things, like gold, and diamonds. And everyone went nuts over these things. They were so shiny, that it distracted them from breathing. There were people lying dead all over the place, because they forgot to breathe. Such was the shiny-ness of gold.

And people weren't happy with food, and leather, and footwear, and clothes. No, they had to barter things. So they traded a cow for beans. And the next morning, a large beanstalk was seen growing out of the ground...

So they were bartering. But people made bad deals with other people.
"Sure! You can have my soul. But what do I get in return?"
"Oh, you get this really shiny bit of metal!"
"But isn't that a bad deal for m-.... oooh! Shiny!"

Then people said 'Look, we're better than you. So we shall rule you." And they did. For thousands, and thousands of years. And the Kings and Queens decided to increase their popularity by printing flyers with their pictures on it, and handing it out to the peasants. Sadly, these flyers were made out of shiny metal.

The people couldn't dispose of shiny metal that easily. And plus, it was shiny. So they couldn't just trash it. And they decided to trade it in instead of their souls.

Thus, currency was born. And the King and Queen thought they were pretty popualr with the locals, 'cause demand for the flyers had increased dramatically. But they didn't realise it was a soul-replacer.

But after a couple of years, when the news eventually did reach their royal ears, they were pretty delighted to find out that their faces had replaced the peasant's souls. Then the King murdered the Queen, and married another six hundred.

Meanwhile, back in peasant town, people were still trading in shiny bits. Someone decided to call this the 'economy', because it sounded like a disease. He thought it would be a joke. It was. For a while. Until people realised that by calling it an 'economy', it was very similar to calling themselves a 'civilisation', and now they'd have a legitimate excuse to not know what they're doing.

Once the economy was invented, people started to say things like 'Hey! I'll let you pay me 6 shiny bits to take your soul!".

Then the Kings and Queens wanted more popularity, so they killed other people in other lands, and handed their flyers to the other land people. Then they realised what they'd done. And they were so angry, that they killed even more people, from even more lands. And they realised what they'd done, and they killed people from other lands. And they realised what they'd done...

Then came the industrial revolution. Where people overthrew the Industry. And by now, there was a 'government' and other fancy words, to give people very legitimate excuses to goof off, and not know what they're doing.

And by this time, people had lost the original point of money. It was now printed on paper. Not shiny. Boring.

But they were still flyers. Still trying to advertise people. Except now, it was dead people. Which, again, sort of ruined the point of money.

And now people are saying "Look, I have no money. I'll sell you my cow for your soul..."